Peace and peace

I am the 80s generation. I grew up in the DC area and now live in the shadow of the Rockies. I loved hot rods and beach music and didn’t know what racism was till I was in the 8th grade. Since then, this country has changed to the point I cannot understand it anymore.

Hatred seems to be Americana. Prejudice has replaced justice. Nationalism seems to now be defined by the fringe and no one between is accepted and implied should be ashamed. I wont go buy a gun to prove my patriotism, fuck you.

I have known many people in many walks. I have lived in Colorado, Illinois, Virginia, Maine, Virginia again, Arizona, Virginia again, Iowa, Virginia again, Colorado again, Virginia again, Colorado again, Virginia and finally Colorado. I have been in Canada, Iceland, Sweden, Norway and England.

I have dated 11 years older, 23 years younger, Caucasian, Asian, African American, and Latina. I have dated women who were blind, taller, very educated and GED proud. I have loved, LOVED to the point of fear, loved till death, hated, been used and manipulated and lied, lied, lied to. Broken many, many, many laws. Had a gun to my head, been stalked by a mountain lion, delivered a baby and held the hand of a woman holding the hand of her dead husband of 40+ years. I have heard a senator deliver a speech I helped write introducing a soon to be president. And I have made happen the final meeting of a mother and son before she died.

I have never hated more than on occasions when I felt someone had abandoned humanity or compassion. I have never feared more than feared being meaningless. I have never feared being hated, nor feared being feared. But have not striven for either.

I am a therapist and I empower. I teach and guide personal strength. I struggle with the same. I am educated and intelligent.  I wont apologize for either, fuck off.

I feel that my generation has substituted fear for education. “Teach me not what I don’t know, all I need to know is who you should fear”. My generation is becoming weaklings. My generation was promised the world in the 80s, without understanding it was paid for by VISA and character.

I choose. I CHOOSE to not tolerate fear. If you want to speak it that is your right as I have written about. I refuse to accept your fear of all who are not your definition of American. Our ancestors ALL came here from elsewhere likely exiled or running from hatred or prejudice. Now generations later we are those who hate, not willing to offer what gave us prosperity.
I am struggling to accept my role in my nation. I see people with hatred be compassionate and that offers me hope. But hate is so easy to go to. Prejudice disguised as nationalism seems to be in fashion. Fuck you that is not my America.

I seek peace and Peace. I seek inner peace and hope for outer Peace. The tolerant always work harder to give the intolerant time to stop fearing. I am working on patience; and trying not to hate those who seem to so easily hate. I seek peace, and hope for Peace.

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